Reposted from my xanga blog (xanga.com/redtrafficlight)

2011-12-17T00:08:00.000-08:00

I saw this on another blog, when I was trying to find the 'right question to answer' to figure out what i wanted to do for the few months before (hopefully) university. Personal reflection on a public space, quite ironic, but hell I really like the theme so why not? :D hope this (the question not the answers lol) will inspire whoever that came across this too.

credits to http://www.marcandangel.com/

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I express myself as a five-year-old kid would, understand myself as a 30+ woman, show my love as a selfish 14 year old teenager and regretted my life as a man nearing the end of his life would.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Both, because if you failed you will be scared to try again, but if you never tried you are sure to fail. If I had to choose it would be failing--a blow to your self esteem, a disappointment to those who supported you along the way. I'm more afraid of that then losing the chance to try something new.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Someone said that to do well in school and get a high education is not about how much you learn in school that matters, but about having the choice to do what you really like to do. As you have more 'power' your range of choice of future career expanded. A high school dropout might really want to be an researcher, but because of his academic qualifications is unable to do so. That being said people who do have a choice, like graduates or even PhD holders are held down by other restrains: am I able to earn enough to make my education worth? Am I able to provide a luxurious life befitting of my ranks for my family? How would I compare to my peers who did not get this certificate that I worked hard for? All these will forced people to make decisions that includes things they won't like to do: choosing a well-paid and secure job over a less-paid job that really cater to their interests and challenge them; forgoing enriching overseas experience for their children to stay and receive a better education. Life is about trade off and opportunity costs, to achieve the best choice the other best alternative will have to be forgone. And hence our own happiness and fulfillment will depend much on our own priorities. Fulfillment and interests over security? Marriage over career? Life is short, we have a responsibility to ourselves to make it useful. But more often than not we feel the responsibility to others more pertinently than this responsibility to ourselves, so we seek to fulfill them instead. Hence the things we do may not be what we like, but is 'for the best' to the people around us. Some lucky ones got supportive spouse and family that allow them the freedom and liberty to choose something that is best for themselves but not for them, and those are the really lucky ones.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Usually, I'll do more than I say :D A bit too passive, I know, but better than someone robbing you of your ideas and claiming that it's theirs.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Reduce the population (harmlessly of course) so resources can be expended to develop a really really good system with really good teams of 'A players' (quoting this term from Steve Jobs)

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

I'm not sure what I feel happy doing. Even when relaxing by watching youtube, music, dramas and reading books, i'll ultimately reach a point where I am grumpy and wanting to do something more active. I guess the work would be ever changing, sometimes challenging but not unachievable and unlock secrets to life? Something like a researcher in fields like neruoscience, cognitive science, or even economist. (i mean, economics and policies really make sense, if the correct assumptions are made)

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I'm too easily sastified at times, so i'm the latter: settling for what I am doing. I don't seek to achieve more though I hope i can, I can't achieve more because of my inherent flaw of passiveness and procrastination and lack of confidence to do better.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Would have spent every waking minute studying to become smarter, to get to uni faster, to make a change in the world sooner.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

0%. Really. In primary school it was my mom's deligence in tutoring my work that pushed me to be one of the tops in my school and get into a good high school, but since I was in the IP program as long as i don't do terribly bad I'll get into JC no matter what. I'm just going with the flow.

Oh, there's this 5% when I wrote an email to a teacher in bio Olympiad to appeal to be on the training squad, after being nominated but mysteriously rejected (I thought it's due to name issues haha, since I changed name and wrote different ones in the registration form)

And there's this another 5% when i decided to apply overseas, but it amounts to nothing yet.

Another 5% when i decided to join astronomy club instead of other interesting and more active CCA, and did a presentation on galaxy and ppl actually think it's good (a great confidence booster, even if it might not be sincere)

A 0.05% when I decided not to go for prom (spend money for an event that i'm more likely to be miserable at is kinda worthless, and my 'networking' skills is non existence)

Another 2% when i tried to prepare for JC by reading Campbell 8th edition that my cousin gave me as a present.

But there's a whole lot more of the time when I just go with the flow.

I dream more than I actually do, do more than i actually say.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing things right is more important. Following principles to make sure a thing is done right will minimise unnecessary complications and achieve the optimum results possible, while doing the right things is more vague ideas than actual procedures. Mao Ze Dong had done the right things in trying to make China 'strong' during his reign, but by adopting the wrong strategy of smelting poor quality metal and neglecting farming starved his country and make things worse.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Provide a more objective opinion to defend her, but whether to reveal that she's my friend will depend on the circumstances and the personality of the people at the table.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Don't stop growing

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Depends on the actual situation.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

erm...no.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

I drink coffee in the middle of the night even when I'm about to sleep. I'm volatile around my family members but docile in public and around my friends. I've been to Nepal and enjoyed the harsh winter. I write so hard that my right fingers are slightly deformed, and my right palm have blisters when my short fingernail bite into them when writing.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Oh! The diverse range human had shown!

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

My lack of ability?

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

None that i know of...oh wait maybe my insecurity.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

I like myself where i am:D but if i must move, I want to move back to my birthland. I feel more serene there even if the education and environment is not really suited for a good career, and people instead of being warm and friendly like they once are are being more cold hearted.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

No. I hate people who do that. It's rude, noisy and show an impatience that is irritating

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Worried genius. When life has troubles, it is worth living for.

Why are you, you?

I'll figure out this question if i managed to study cognitive science ^^

You know, if one think about this question long enough, a strange sensation will set in. I can't describe it, but when i was younger I was able to have this feeling that I lost my 'consciousness', and detached from my consciousness, feeling like an alien in a foreign body lol. Bad description, but you really need to experience it before you know it. It's another thing why I'm so interested in telepathy: able to experience what others feel without word and communication--just being the other person, attuned to his thought processes, his principles, his interests. We are contained within our body and our consciousness, and only when we escape from this conformity can we truly understand the other unique individual. And that'll will give a much more detailed answer to the question.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

I do hope so: one that don't judge unless judgement is sought for, one that provide counsel and advice and motivation, one that is loyal. But I'm temperamental, and have wide mood swings, and i do worry if i do throw them around with my friends ._. And I am unable to keep relationships long lasting--they don't go bad, just drift away.

What are you most grateful for?

Another chance in life (i believe in reincarnation). For my room. For my education, my sentiments, my understanding of myself and others, my parents, and the future that I know is mine to make beautiful.

Mirror

Reposted from my xanga blog (xanga.com/redtrafficlight)